Thursday, January 9, 1997
By Michelle Navarro
Daily Bruin Contributor
John: I think we get along pretty well together, what do you
think?
Mary: I was wondering when you would notice.
**Mary flashes a flirtatious smile**
John: What do you say we go somewhere where we can talk
alone?
Mary: Sure.
grin spreads across John’s face, barely allowing a sigh of
satisfaction to escape. He leans forward and stares lovingly into
the glassy, glistening … computer screen.
As the technology generation enters the dating world, an
increasing number of college students are abandoning sweaty palms
inside a popcorn bowl, awkward stares, smiles from across the room
and stuttered invitations to dinner for the safety and convenience
a computer screen provides.
Various chat rooms and dating services available on the web are
multiplying in number. America Online reports that it has "over 6
million potential friends right at your fingertips," making it
incredibly simple for anyone to log on and begin the search for a
little cyber romance. Everyday, people turn to this avenue of
communication to initiate relationships.
Based on student research papers written Fall Quarter on the
subject, "The main topic brought up was looks. Many said it was
nice that they didn’t have to worry about looks, that they weren’t
the focus," said Tamara Sniezek, a Communications Studies 10
teaching assistant.
"The big advantage is that you can get to really learn a lot
about someone without seeing them first," said Sami T, a
third-year undeclared UCLA student.
Although the monitor masks the appearance of its users, it is
only a temporary shield. Unless the enamored pair plans on keeping
the relationship online, a meeting without the mediation of the
computer is inevitable.
Several are quick to vow looks aren’t a huge factor in the
selection process, yet various stories prove that is not the whole
truth.
"Eventually you have to meet them, and it turned out that many
discovered looks are important after all," Sniezek said.
"Unfortunately there were many stories where they loved the person
over the computer, but when they saw them in person they were very
disappointed."
Some students, such as Johann Rodriguez, a second-year
pre-business UC Riverside student, reluctantly admitted they would
not pursue a relationship after discovering that the significant
other was "ugly."
An advantage to using the Internet to meet people as opposed to
more conventional means, is the ability to quickly target a
specific type of person. Finding others with similar interests
comes with ease since most of the conversation centers around
hobbies and lifestyles, Sniezek said.
Tanamly said he developed a relationship with a girl in an IRC
(Internet Relay Chat) chat room, called "California Channel," that
began with the discovery that both were "Star Wars" fans.
"The Internet allows you to save that time you would use looking
for someone with common interests. You can go on and find the
certain type of person you’re looking for fast," Sniezek said.
The opportunity to live out fantasies or shed inhibitions is
another benefit for Internet users. Without communicating
face-to-face with the other person,one can take on a whole new
identity.
"I’m kind of a shy person, but on the computer I find I’m better
with words," said Jennifer Wong, a second-year undeclared UC
Riverside student.
Those not so eloquent in the flesh, but who have better
presentation in writing, can truly benefit from this Internet
feature. However, a few downsides may surface when an actual
meeting occurs.
"Writing allows you more time to think, but it doesn’t show the
stuttering, eye contact or other non-verbal communication. That’s
all hidden. When some people met they were shocked to find out that
the other person was very socially inept or geeky and awkward,"
Sniezek said.
This freedom to character switch also breeds one of the biggest
problems discussed in the research papers, the "whopper" of them
all  lying.
Just picture it: Internet users can say they are five inches
taller, have a 4.0 GPA and are the captain of the basketball team.
The power to mold another person is at the tips of quick-typing
fingers. The only problem arises when someone calls their
bluff.
"I give really broad descriptions that fit me, but also a bunch
of others," Rodriguez said. "I’ll say I play sports and then
they’ll think I’m athletic. It doesn’t matter because they’re not
going to see me anyway."
Fortunately, not everyone lies. Despite the stereotype that only
the "computer geeks," psychos, and people who have nothing better
to do with their time surf the Internet and chat rooms looking for
romance, Rodriguez, Wong and Tanamly all said their Internet
partners were in general "normal."
"The Internet is actually perfect for people with no time to
waste. When you come home tired and have no time to get dressed up
and make everything perfect, it comes in handy. You can sit in your
sweats and meet people," Sniezek said.
Meeting a wide variety of people was another major advantage
students agreed on. Chatting online allows contact with people of
different backgrounds in terms of culture, education and financial
status.
"If you go to the corner, you’ll probably only encounter UCLA
students," Sniezek said, "but if you go on the computer you’ll meet
people from all over."
What concerns most students about Internet romance, according to
Sniezeki, is that there isn’t any control over who people meet.
Just as there is the risk of bumping into dangerous individuals on
the street, logging on the computer opens the possibility of
talking to a mental case.
"There are psychotic people on the Internet. In fact, one of the
stories in the research papers discussed a case that led to someone
being raped when they finally met," Sniezek said.
A general agreement among interviewed students and Sniezek was
that caution should always be exercised.
Whether or not the Internet is an improved alternative to
traditional dating, it is definitely part of the future. According
to recent Nielsen ratings, 22 percent of people 16 and older in the
United Stated have access to the Internet.
"It’s growing no matter what," said Sniezek, "you just need to
make sure to keep all the dangers in mind and use common sense.
It’s great for having fun, just be sure to keep it at that
level."
GENEVIEVE LIANG/Daily Bruin