Thursday, November 14, 1996
RESTAURANT:
Diner offers home-style grub, amusing experienceBy Vanessa
VanderZanden
Daily Bruin Contributor
Yeah, so a huge cow sits at one side of the room under old
photos and a heat lamp hangs from the ceiling. Sure, an enormous
plastic stick of butter juts out from the wall and pink flamingos
dot the aisles between turquoise vinyl diner booths. What’s wrong
with hula-dancer lamps and hat racks at table edges or leopard
print wallpaper highlighting the bar ceiling? Someone got a problem
with Ed Debevic’s diner in Beverly Hills?
Ed Debevic’s offers hungry patrons large portions of home-style
food in addition to a ’50s atmosphere that is casual and fun.
The motto here is "If you like what you’re eatin’, order more.
If you don’t  there’s the door," and the waiters make a point
of reminding customers of it. One waitress on roller skates rolls
around the floor delivering truck-stop meals while chewing gum and
swishing her bushy blonde hair. Another wears striped knee-high
socks below her starchy white diner dress. A waiter yells goodbye
to a leaving customer from across the room in a thick New York
accent. None of them seem to care if patrons come back or not.
Oddly enough, it’s just that playfully obnoxious attitude that
causes diners to return.
After all, the food’s not really that great. But, sit down, shut
up, and be happy to get fed at all, damn it. It’s a diner Â
there’s no caviar on this menu.
But there are milkshakes, in almost every flavor. Oreo
milkshakes have little chunks of cookies, and, on the same note,
strawberry shakes have bits of real fruit. Then there’s banana,
vanilla, and chocolate flavors. They all have a nice-sized dollop
of whipped cream at the top and come served in a mammoth metal
fountain shaker. No, it’s not real thick, but it’s not runny
either, so drink up because it’s tasty.
For a snack, go with the cheese fries and onion straws. The
fries consist of Cheez Whiz on potato fat, but Ed’s is, after all,
a diner. And the straws are curly, spicy, deep-fried onion rings
but top of the line for what they are. It’s useless to even try to
stop picking at them.
But before we get to the burgers, it’s time for some
entertainment. The waiter with the donkey hat starts deejaying from
the short-order cook window in the corner, telling the customers
not to use the tiny juke boxes on their tables between the ketchup
and napkin dispensers. "Oh, it’s a blue light special," he sneers
into the mic as the waiters jump on the counter and dance with
enthusiasm to "Greased Lightning." One waitress shines a mirror up
another’s skirt so her underwear shows. The dance steps aren’t
quite synchronized, but it’s a pretty good show from dancers whose
primary concern is waiting tables.
For hamburgers, Ed Debevic’s specialty, try the Route 66 or the
baconburger. The first has melted jack cheese oozing over the fried
sourdough bun. The second has a crunchy grilled sesame bun full of
hamburger and extra-crispy bacon. Both have lettuce, tomato and
pickles on the side. Nothing to brag about, but they’ll fill a
truck driver up.
After wiping the grease from both hands and mouth, order a cup
of Ed’s black coffee. Other enticing menu options include the Blue
Plate and Italian Special, appropriately a steak fajita and pizza
burger. Adding to the home-style cuisine are six chili variations
and a pot pie. But after an evening of listening to the obscure
’50s jingle "Smoke That Cigarette" played over the airwaves and
watching waiters swing dance on roller skates, diners may be too
full even for Ed’s teeny-tiny sundae. And there’s no possibility of
scarfing down a piece of pie.
But, even with a full belly, the signs on the wall can be
enjoyed. "If you could find a better diner … Eat there," says
one. "No smoking  by order of five people on the Beverly
Hills City Council," says another. Even the "Jackets not required
after 4 p.m." sign starts making sense after a while. So, when
waiters shout at the top of their lungs in a sarcastic voice, "It’s
so and so’s birthday, everybody sing" and then belt out unmelodic
line after unmelodic line of the birthday song while placing a
paper hat on the diner’s head, just chuckle and munch on more
fries.
The waiters even sit on the bench next to customers from time to
time just to chat. The lucky ones might get asked, "Did you just
come from a funeral?" or watch their friends being harassed with
lines like "Do they give out a lot of valium at UCLA?" or "Don’t
you ever speak?"
Eh, don’t like it? No bother. There’s the door if you wanna
leave. But you won’t.
BAHMAN FARAHDEL
At Ed Debevic’s restaurant, roller-skating waitresses and juke
boxes provide patrons with a classic 1950s-style dining
experience.
The motto … is "If you like what you’re eatin’, order more. If
you don’t  there’s the door."