Friday, October 18, 1996Horey delivers epiphany with wit
Often when I’m driving in traffic and someone cuts me off,
nearly killing us both for the sole reason of getting into a
parking lot to buy bagels or something, I inevitably ask myself,
"What is this asshole thinking?" Please allow me to express my
appreciation to Justin Horey ("Skinny White Jackass Writes Unfunny
Column," Oct. 10) for clarifying the mechanisms behind just such a
mentality.
Eric Stump
Fourth-year
Political Science
Sack lunches too good to be true
I was saddened today when I read the viewpoint and found someone
disappointed with the new sack lunches. What’s wrong with them?
I personally find them the most rewarding thing I’ve experienced
here at UCLA. The night before the day I will need to get a sack
lunch I can’t sleep. I’m so full of joy.
Then, when my alarm goes off I jump out of bed, hurry downstairs
with my blue thermal bag, and get in line to make my lunch. I often
have to apologize to people in line because I’m so ecstatic. I love
making my lunch!
First, I have a choice of chips and cookies. I hurriedly open a
plastic bag and pour the priceless gems into it. Then, there comes
the sandwich. I carefully pull out two sheets of the best aluminum
foil to be found. I then place two slices of choice bread
delicately on to the foil. With one clean sweep I pick out the meat
and cheese that will so beautify my artwork. Then, I close it up
and place it into my bag. The next part is my favorite.
Finally, I get to obtain a liquid refreshment. I walk up to the
lady at the check-in podium and get the nod of approval from her.
She temporarily lets down her guard from those who didn’t get a
sack lunch and just want to steal a drink and allows me to open the
barrel containing a choice of only the best drinks. The hardest
part is choosing which will quench my thirst later on.
When I’m through, a tear escapes my eye because I know that it
will be another two days before I get to experience the rush
again.
I know there are a lot of students out there that are unhappy
about the voucher removal, but, hey; when compared to the wonderful
adventure of making your own sack lunch, the voucher system doesn’t
last a millisecond.
Matthew Dennis How
Fourth-year
Linguistics
Co-president of 5 South, Sproul
Graduating? Beware "benefits"
Let the following be a warning to all UCLA students, especially
seniors: you have access to the Career Center’s JobTrak for only
three months prior to graduation. Never mind that the average time
it takes nowadays for a college grad to land a full-time job is six
months after graduation.
Never mind that the money you spent/borrowed to attend UCLA
could feed a small third world nation. Never mind that your
completion of the curriculum makes you an alumnus in the true sense
of the word, because the university and the Alumni Association
couldn’t give a flying fuck whether you had a passing GPA, or
whether you completed 180 units, but whether you shelled out
$500.
The GradPak, a mere promotion for the Alumni Association,
unconscionably disguised as a display of concern for UCLA seniors,
includes a flyer that states: "You deserve special credit for your
prestigious accomplishment of being a UCLA graduate." And for this
prestigious accomplishment, the Association will graciously give a
bumper sticker.
In return, you may want to give them a bottle of Unisom, because
even four years at a prestigious university won’t necessarily teach
you how people like this sleep at night.
Tram Nguyen
Alumna
Film and Television
Yes on Prop. 215 – a vote for mercy
I have permanent spinal cord damage and use cannabis to relieve
the spasticity and attendant pain. My condition results from disc
and bone disease treated with extensive surgical fusions of my
cervical spine.
The CNOA and DEA want to make me a criminal. My best hopes lie
with the voters of California.
Don’t let this opportunity for Christian compassion be
wasted.
Vote YES! on Proposition 215.
Ashley H. Clements
Atlanta, Georgia