Thursday, May 23, 1996
Get past prejudice, accept beauty of disabled peopleBy Tracy
Thomas
Life was meant to be splendid or at least graced with sporadic
episodes of bliss. Unfortunately, I have not yet fulfilled these
desires of God. My frame of "self" is not as nature would have it
be. When one thinks of the broad scheme of life or simply life in
general, there should be thoughts of future goals and
encouragement. As fate would have it, I have been a failure not
only to God, but primarily (if not solely) to myself.
By reading what has already been said, one would think that I am
bitter. In many respects, this is true  but not completely.
To understand my previously and yet to be expressed views, it is
important that you see the world through "Tracy-tinted glasses"
 with the perceptions of someone with a congenital transverse
wrist (the medical mistake of an obstetrician’s stupidity). It is
important for people to understand the perpetual state of
ambivalence and curiosity (about how it would feel to be normal)
that comes along with having a birth defect.
Before anyone gets offended, let me fully explain what I mean.
Growing up as a deformed black woman, I have had three strikes
against me  three strikes which will be with me forever.
However, unlike the criminals of the "justice" system who are
punished for some alleged wrongdoing, I have been unjustly
sentenced to live a life of solitude, confusion and deprivation.
Also unlike the typical criminal, to avoid incarceration, I cannot
retroactively erase a felony from my record because I have not
committed a crime  I merely exist.
First, I am deformed. From the embryonic to present state, this
has been the end all be all of my existence. My deformity has made
me more vulnerable to ridicule, ostracism and the fears of most.
From these immense societal pressures, I have gained an almost
telepathic sense of the world and the "normal" people that occupy
it. I have been forced to grow up faster than many could ever
imagine or even ask for.
One would think that after 22 years of such innocent
victimization there would be a numbing calm  somewhat like
being exhausted after running through a maze and finally "slowing
your roll" to a mellow pace. But in this mortifying maze of reality
(a.k.a life), my pace has accelerated. I have found that to face
the fears and confusion of myself, as well as others,
overcompensation on my part has been necessary.
People see me and stare; guys are often times disgusted by the
mere thought of dealing with "Captain Hook"; friends try but don’t
really relate to me; children often stare, question and even cry at
the sight of me and adults are usually amazed at my "abilities." To
this day, many are amazed that I can tie my shoes and paint my
nails. In return, I am in shock that these things are considered to
be major accomplishments for me, but actions taken for granted for
others. I am sure my shock stems from the fact that I received
positive structuring from my family. I was treated just as my
sister was (like a normal kid who needed guidance but also
autonomy). To this day, my parents still do not know the
significance of how they raised me.
As an attempt to find peace within myself, I recently joined a
support group for adults with disabilities. Upon arrival, I was
filled with skepticism about associating with a mass of
"abnormals." Soon, I realized that was a negative result of
socialization. I was prejudiced against those of my own caliber.
After several months of involvement, I can say that peaceful
survival and happiness can be a part of anyone’s life  even
those who are emotionally, visibly and/or physically challenged. I
only wish that others on the "outside" could see how beautiful and
special disabilities can be.
I do not mean to place anyone on the defensive! My goal is to
open the eyes of any and everyone who does not know the appropriate
social etiquette when dealing with any challenged or different
individual. It is not your duty to understand, relate to or even
research this  but as relatives of the same species, it is
important that you respect all of us "special" people.
Personally, I ask that you respect me for being the first and
only person from my family to attend college (and to become a
double major). Respect me because I am involved with job training
for homeless parents. Respect me because I am a black woman
surviving in a white man’s world. Most of all, appreciate me for
the unconditional love, honesty and humor that I thrive on
spreading. I would also like to thank all of those who have stood
by me despite my difference. With such acceptance on a wider scale,
we can tear down the walls of this mortifying maze of reality
together!
Thomas is a fourth-year sociology/history student.