Thursday, May 2, 1996
Bon voyage, ‘Chuck’ Young, whoever you are!
Retirement of chancellor saddens starstruck studentBy Steve
Lee
Three years ago, as a wide-eyed and somewhat naïve
freshman, I was required to go to a "convocation." The convocation
was a time for the UCLA administration to welcome the Class of 1997
(assuming one graduates in four years) to the wonderful world of
Bruinland. This event was so important that we were forced to go.
In fact, the only way we could eat dinner that night was to go to
the convocation.
In exchange for being treated like kindergartners, we were told
that Chancellor Charles Young would show up  as he had in
previous years  to personally welcome us to UCLA. I said to
myself, "Aw, what the hay! Why don’t I go along and see the guy who
is running our school." So I went to the convocation.
As we took our seats at the Tennis Center, I was full of glee.
"Golly gosh and gee willakers, I’m really going to see Charles
Young!" Yes folks, I was such a dweeb that I got excited at the
prospect of seeing Charles Young.
As we waited in the hot September sun, I suddenly had a
premonition. "He might not come!" Here I was waiting outside under
the blaring beams of the sun for our chancellor as if he were Santa
Claus at Christmas, and HE MIGHT NOT COME! I frantically told
everyone about my premonition.
When the time came for the chancellor to speak, we all found out
that I was right. We were jiffed, folks! Charles Young did not
come! Everybody congratulated me on my foresight. On the outside, I
was basking in the glow of my accurate prediction. However, on the
inside, I was sad.
* * *
When Chancellor Charles Young announced that he was finally
retiring after ruling over UCLA since the Triassic period, many
people were glad. You could hear the longtime foes of "Chuck" Young
 i.e. the students  cheering as if the UCLA basketball
team had been declared National Champions for the next
millennia.
Although I am afraid to admit this in public, I have to confess
that I will miss Charles Young. You may think that I am crazy, but
it’s true. I will miss le Chuck.
Many of you may ask the question, "why?" Why would I miss a man
who has "dissed" me? Why would I miss a man who got booed during
the celebration honoring our basketball team after winning the
National Championship?
The answer is simple: I have never met him. I had always hoped
to meet him someday. Now with him retiring, I may never have the
chance to say that I met Chancellor Charles Young.
Some of you may scoff at my predicament. You may point out that
plenty of people have met Charles Young. In response, I would grant
that many people have met Charles Young, but most of these people
are protesters. Unfortunately, I am far too modest to want to barge
in on his "busy" (note sarcasm) life.
How bad is my problem? My problem is so bad that the first time
I heard Charles Young’s voice was only a year ago, listening to a
Korean radio program!
I have never seen Chuck’s face that wasn’t on a photograph with
expletives all over it. Charles Young has never shaken my hand.
Charles Young has never said to me "Atta’ boy! Make us proud young
man!" Chancellor Young has never chased me out of Murphy Hall. Hey,
even my high school principal had the decency to personally chase
me out of the halls after graduation!
Will Charles Young see me graduate in 1997 (God willing)? No!
Will Chancellor Young help me out when I want to apply to law
schools? No! Will Chuck ever take time out to listen to the
concerns of the students? No! Is Mr. Young concerned about the
rising cost of higher education crowding out working-class students
like myself? No!
Well, enough of these deep issues. Let us get back to me
complaining about not getting to know the guy.
All I want to do is see him once  live and in person. I
would like to tell my grandkids, if I ever get a date and get
married, that I met the "Great Wizard of Oz" Â Charles Young.
Hey, maybe Chuck can tell me why I haven’t had a date.
At any rate, I have a plan to meet Charles Young. I want to have
lunch with him. I can imagine it now  I will eat a peanut
butter and jelly sandwich and Chuck will eat the cashed checks that
I have written out to the "UC Regents."
Well, I will hope for the best. Hopefully, Charles won’t jiff me
before he leaves. Until I meet him, I shall sing: "We’re off to see
the wizard … the wonderful Wizard of Oz."
Lee is a third-year economics student.