Sensuous sex and the erotic condom
By Darlene Mininni
Is that an oxymoron? Can condoms really be, well … erotic? I
mean, we all know they are a smart choice for pregnancy and
sexually transmitted disease prevention, but can they really be …
sensuous?
In my many talks throughout campus, students have shared with me
their discontents about using condoms, and yet I have also talked
with a sizeable number of students who have made condoms not only
an enjoyable part of sex, but an erotic part of sex.
I set out on a mission to talk to students who use condoms and
like them. Maybe these people know something others don’t. I asked
them to tell me (1) what they like best about their experiences
with condoms, and (2) what they do to make condoms a more
spontaneous and enjoyable part of their sexual intimacy.
Tania, age 20, BioChem student
"I like using condoms for pregnancy prevention. It feels a lot
safer to me than the pill. My boyfriend gets real creative. He
hides condoms all over the house. They’re hidden everywhere …
under the lamp in the bedroom, under the cushions on the couch,
under the blender. You never know when you’ll need it. And I like
to put them on for him too."
Seth, age 23, Film and Television student
"What I like best about condoms is feeling safe from pregnancy
and STDs. Feeling safe really enhances the sexual experience for
me. Whoever said the risk factor is sexy is screwed up in the head.
You can lose yourself in the experience because you’re not
worrying. For me, the ritual of putting the condom on with my
girlfriend is kind of fun and as much a part of the sexual act as
holding hands all the way up to intercourse. Before anything gets
going, we’ll get the condom ready. We’ll open up the package, put a
drop or two of lubricant into the condom, and lay it on the
nightstand. Then it’s a quick reach. We’re not fumbling. And of
course, she’s always the one to put it on."
Aeisha, age 22, Political Science student
"At first I liked using condoms to prevent STDs, but after we
were both tested, we continued to use condoms even though we were
in a committed relationship because they’re good for preventing
pregnancy. First you have to find the right brand. Some brands we
really didn’t like, but we’ve found one we do, and we enjoy it. We
always put the condom on together. And we act out this little drama
around the condom. We play around with it. And he likes to tease me
with it. It’s fun."
Steven, age 19, English student
"My boyfriend and I always use condoms. I don’t think it’s a big
deal at all. We just put a little lubricant into the top of the
condom and away we go. It’s a natural part of our sex life.
Besides, feeling safe is a turn-on. I couldn’t enjoy myself without
it."
Andrew, age 23, Political Science student
"I like using condoms because they’re convenient, reliable and
make me last longer. Also knowing that my girlfriend doesn’t have
to alter her biology in any way with this method is reassuring to
me. I think I’ve gotten condom-use down to an art. We always keep
them within arm’s reach so we don’t have to go too far to get them.
It’s a real drag if they’re far away and you have to stop what
you’re doing. Next, I make using condoms a challenge! I’ve learned
to slowly slide the condom under the pillow, open it and put it on
using only one hand while I use the other hand "inventively" with
my girlfriend. For an added bonus, I try to do all this without my
girlfriend knowing! My advice to guys is to have some fun with it.
And treat it like a challenge. I don’t meet many guys who don’t
like a challenge."
Denzel, age 22, Psycho-Bio student
"Guys may complain about condoms, but I really don’t think
they’re bad at all. A condom isn’t going to make much of a
difference during sex unless it’s a really thick condom. My
favorite brands are Ramses and Lifestyles. I don’t do anything
special to make using them better, because I honestly don’t think
they’re a problem. I focus more on what we’re doing with each other
than on the condom. And with the condom, I don’t have to worry. I
don’t have to wait 28 days to see if it worked. I can see the semen
in the condom, and I know it worked. I always use them."
* not their real names
Tips to make condoms more erotic:
1. Before unrolling the condom onto the penis, put a dab of
water-based lubricant such as PrePair, Forplay or KY Jelly into the
tip of the condom. It’ll give you more sensation. Never use
oil-based lubricants like Vaseline or baby oil. They can cause the
condom to break.
2. Keep the condom nearby so you’ll have it when you need
it.
3.Get creative using condoms. Share the experience with your
partner. Make it part of your intimate activities together.
Have you found ways to make condoms more erotic too? If so, we’d
like to know about it. Send your ideas to: SexTalk Health Education
Dept.UCLA Student Health Service A2-130 CHS LA, CA 90024. Darlene
Mininni, MPH, is the coordinator of the Sexual Health Education
Program in the UCLA Student Health Service. She can be reached at
825-3020.