Campus groups provide support systems for coming out
By Jùlio C. Rosa
and Ali Beck
She’s out. He’s not out to his family. She’s totally closeted.
He’s just starting to come out. To those unfamiliar with the
lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) communities, these phrases may be
meaningless. To others, they attempt to describe the complex coming
out process.
There is no one definition of what it means to be "out." To one
person, coming out may mean walking down the street holding their
partner’s hand. To another, coming out may be attending a rally to
demand recognition of the civil rights of the LGB population. To
someone else, it may mean telling their family that they are
gay.
There are many different ways to come out, but why do we do it?
Again, there are many answers. Growing up in a culture which
assumes that all people are heterosexual, many lesbians, gays and
bisexuals feel isolated and confused. Most of us knew no openly gay
people and this lack of role models reinforced the negative
messages we received about being gay. Many lesbian, gay and
bisexual people hope that by coming out they can serve as mentors
to youths in the community, providing support through what can be a
very difficult time.
This is demonstrated by a recent study which showed that 10
years ago, the average coming out age for gay men was 26. Today it
is 16. For women, it tends to be much later. We also come out for
practical reasons: it takes a lot of energy and time to try to
cover up a relationship or hide an affiliation with an LGB
organization. Basically, a large portion of the LGB population
comes out because they are just plain tired of hiding.
One of the main reasons for coming out is that we affirm to
ourselves and others that we recognize and celebrate all aspects of
our personalities, including our sexual orientation. Coming out
allows us to live our lives openly and honestly. It gives us the
freedom to share our experiences with others, in the classroom and
outside of it, and to work towards dispelling some of the
misconceptions and prejudices which are directed toward the LGB
communities.
Included in this section of The Bruin is the story regarding
ROTC discrimination at UCLA. This is certainly an issue which
affects many individuals’ desire and ability to safely be OUT as
students at this university. We are glad individuals such as Keith
Meinhold, Miriam Ben-Shalom, Joe Zuniga, Coronel Cammemeyer and
Tracy Thorne are strong enough to come out under fire in the
military environment. Their strength allows cadets at schools such
as UCLA to question how effective a nondiscrimination policy which
protects openly LGB individuals truly is. This form of
institutionalized homophobia is only destructive to the coming out
process.
Coming out can be an important and rewarding experience, but it
is also very difficult and sometimes frightening. Many resources on
campus provide support for those at all different stages of the
coming out process. GALA, UCLA’s multicultural lesbian, gay and
bisexual alliance, sponsors a number of groups where students can
come together to discuss issues and support each other. Residence
hall rap is a multiethnic, confidential group which addresses the
specific needs and concerns of LGB students living on campus,
focusing on outreach to students who may just be starting to come
out. QAAR, for African-American students; La Familia, for Latina/o
students; and Mahu, for Asian/Pacific Islander students address the
issues faced by lesbians, gays and bisexuals in various ethnic and
cultural communities. In addition, GALA sponsors Lesbian/Bisexual
Women’s Rap, Gay Men’s Rap, and Bisexual Gathering. New this year
will be the Community Rap, a multiethnic rap for men and women.
Information on these groups is available through GALA at
825-8053.
These services are provided so that our community is empowered
and supported in numbers. Remember that as GALA, we are here to aid
in the coming out process, but that it is your personal strength
and commitment to yourself that will allow you to be open about
your feelings, your emotions and your life. Please respect
yourself. Come out.
Rosa, a fifth-year sociology student specializing in women’s
studies, and Beck, a second-year film, theater and television
student, are the co-chairs of GALA.